My Heart Bleeds Out

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What my heart wants it can not have. Continually denied, what little I have is sucked dry; willingly given to the young wonder who thrives on it. What I want is only in part a person but it’s something that can be shared, returned and given back again. It’s the purest of renewable resources when properly maintained and yet I don’t get what I desire; what I need. The pain may never truly end in this earthly existence so I must endure; I must be stronger than myself, than my needs. I am stronger than anyone knows; I am stronger than I know.

#love #seeking #strong #strength #stronger #heart #beauty

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I stand quietly

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Thank you to the originator of this blog post
#autism #speak #heart #think #love

Dirty, Naked & Happy

I stand quietly while you do somersaults on the bed as you aren’t being naughty, you are just trying to get your out of sync body under control.

I stand quietly by the toilet door every time you need to go, and come with you around the house, and sometimes even just across the room, because I know you can feel truly frightened when you are not near me.

I stand quietly at the supermarket checkout while everyone stares at you barking like a dog and blowing raspberries on my arms to cope with the buzzing lights.

I stand quietly while you tell the baffled shop owner that you are looking for shoes that feel hard like splintered wood because your skin can’t bear soft things.

I stand quietly when the attendant gives us scornful looks when I ask for the key to the disabled toilet because the hand dryer…

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My Secret Place

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I have a secret place, for now it’s only in my mind and heart. No chance right now to make it real. I would need time, location, money and space. It will be a place that only I’m invited and maybe someone truly special to me. Chances are I will never have that in this life.

Falling in love

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Thank you to the originator of this blog post

Palimpsest

You never see your loved one’s flaws. You fall in love too quickly, in a rush of delight at finding such a person, a burst of wonder that, in all this wide and fragile world, there exists a mind just like your own. Before long, they have settled down inside of you, in the vulnerable parts of your chest. Any doubt, any flaw, is drowned out by the rhythmic thump of a voice that says you are not alone.

It’s like that with books.

There are so many books, so many writers I could tell you about, which would make me look clever, or deep, or wise. But let’s be honest with each other for a moment: those are not the books which live within you. The books you fall in love with are the books with flaws. They are the books you devoured late at night under the sheets…

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She (part 4)

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thank you to the originator of this blog post. I completly understand the feelings expressed here. One of my most disliked phrases is “I don’t judge” because it’s bullcrap. Everybody judges on some level or another. I write about “Rain” in my blog sometimes. I wish I could touch the Rain but can’t. It’s kinda devastating.

Me too

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I’ve been reading a lot of posts by other women about curiosity in other women and people are total lesbians. I enjoy the materials. There’s a sense if nostalgia and longing even sadness that most people don’t seem to understand and I can see it here. I live how the words can make your heart flip over because I want these people to be able to find and have peace, acceptance and love.

Even if a person has found those things they often feel judged and mistreated because people don’t know how to respond to them and they get judged. It’s pretty rough for them.

I have had my own curiosity towards my own gender. I’m curious but not trying anything. I have to much to lose if I get hurt.

#lesbian #curious #curiosity #wonder #truth #trust #think